If November was a guy…

Inspired by Chewing On Glass Blog – here
The idea: WHAT IF… November was a guy? How he’d talk, think, feel?

Monologue – ‘sloppy style.’

Part 1

Fuck it. I spent all my life
In chains
Behind locked doors
In front of a computer
Kissing the glass of the colorless bubbles
Of cola
Or desperation
Or news – unpleasant, painful, dangerous.

I don’t go out anymore…
Pubs are only a memory
Of bad girls and cruel mornings.
Look, traffic lights from the window
Is harboring the human failing
On my hands
Or under my feet –
The result for being addicted
To another glass or cigarette.

Food, politics, media
Are cuddling in pleasure,
Hiding behind
Poorly combined advertising.

YOU are the reason
I don’t go out anymore
Pubs are only a memory…

Yes, my name is November, and I’m fed up with this world: running on lust and lack of common sense.

Part 2

Dearest friend,
Yes, you…
Let me shortly explain –
I lost myself
In the middle of
‘Life to be understood’-moments
Compassionate words,
Stretched to nothing.

I lost myself
The tales of sin and emptiness –
Modern one-line-verses of poetry.
My head has been cracked in a billion pieces,
Falling down
Sinking in silence
Of grief, ache, whatever comes my way, really…

I stopped to live.
Given up.
Pubs are only a memory…
It’s clear,
I can’t hold a drink anymore –
So, why try? Right?

Eaten relationships.
Zero girlfriends.
Even fewer skills.
Money? Haven’t seen that in ages.
House? Living in the middle of nowhere.

5 books.
3 video games.
1 tooth.

My dental hygiene gone to shit.
Constant caffeine, you know…
Boxers with holes

No hat. No hair.
To tell you the truth – no boxers…

And lock your doors, bitches!

Eyes behind owl-a-like-glasses.
Hm, I’ve got hell-who-knows-how-to-pronounce-it-syndrome!
Screwed from reading white screens all the time,
In a complete darkness.

Part 3 

I thought I know better
I thought I can choose
‘Your best life is ahead of you’ –
Fake human slogan.

Waiting for Christmas?
Counting days? Hours? Seconds?

I know I am a burden to everyone:
A misery,
An illusion.
Stubborn and arrogant.
Black and unwanted.
Homeless and broke.
And this shit ain’t gonna change any time soon!
Maybe in December…

You got this, they said.
Be honest with yourself
And all will improve just fine:
Candles, more vodka with tonic, yoga-up-that-lazy-butt… 
And it will be ‘summer’ all over again.


Novemberhood is lonely
Scary place
To be.

P.S. Knocking on the freezing wall, swearing extremes, spitting ecstasies… watching how a delicious red rock of Santa Claus is sweeping away my last days.

Next post – 5 Secret Ingredients for Creating a Perfect Villain


    1. Author

      Thank you 💕💕 it was fun to write 🙂 well, what is next? If December was a girl?? 😂😂😂

        1. Author


    1. Author

      Thank you for support 💕💕💕

    1. Author

      Haha 😂 that’s exactly how it IS 🤨😉

        1. Author

          Yep 😜💫

    1. Author

      😂 haha …we, from the North, are like this* :))

    1. Author

      🤸‍♂️🤸‍♂️😂😅 glad you don’t think it’s “too noir”

        1. Author


  1. Nicely done! I know this guy, or knew him. I’m pretty sure his body is in the basement.

    1. Author

      😂😂 Haha … glad he’s there 🙂

      funny thing, I knew him too 🙂

  2. Wow that was ace! November seems like a bit of a lost soul. Try having a birthday in November, everyone talking about Christmas and I’m not even a year older, swept up in unpacking the Christmas tree. It’s a shame

    1. Author

      Haha 😂 exactly my point… here all stores & people are already preparing for Xmas celebration and…hey it’s only 5th

      1. I know, I hate it. This year however I’ve noticed it’s slightly later, I’m sure we had a couple of years of Christmas insanity where October was the kick off date. It winds me up no end, Britain is fucked in a spiral of credit card debt and cheap shit wine.

        1. Author

          Not only Britain but …yeah things are getting worse there with each hour 😼😼

          I’m not ready for Xmas yet. Let’s hope it will come on time & not before

    1. Author

      😀📚 thank you! Appreciate it

    1. Author

      Yes 😂😂 kinda funny & sad in the same time 🙂

  3. Did I miss If October was a girl? Shit!

    Spicy, yummy take on the calendar candy, RNB.

    1. Author

      I’d like to say…yes, you did 😬 but nope, my calendar 🗓 is only 1 month long 🤸‍♂️🤸‍♂️🤸‍♂️

      1. You’re a brat, you know that? Buahahaha! Good one RNB, well played.

    1. Author

      Stay positive… December is on the way 🙂

  4. November guy is a scary and messed up kind person. But reflective…

    1. Author

      🙂 yeah, a lot of people could relate… 😅👀

    1. Author

      Yeah …I’m sure there’re a lot of “novembers” around us ✌️👀⛄️

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